Being a parent is absolutely, positively, blissfully AMAZING.
My children are my greatest accomplishment, largest blessing and infinite source of pride and giggles.
My children also scare me to death.
And last night/today has been no exception.
My almost 4 month old woke me up making this horrific wheezing noise in his Newborn Rock-N-Play Sleeper next to me.
On a side note, I’ve never been more thankful that we chose to share a bedroom with our newborn.
I spent most of my night (I did not get home from work until well after midnight- so much for actually spending time with my husband on Valentines Day) clearing Gavin’s nose out with saline spray and sucking it out with a bulb syringe. Then at about 3 AM I awoke to this awful loud screeching wheezing noise coming from Gavin followed by a coughing fit.
I’ve been down this road soooo many times with Cayden, it was ridiculous. He spent as much time on antibiotics the first 18 months of his life, as he was off of them. No joke.
You would think I would be more accustomed to a sick child.
More sensitized to the all consuming fear that erupts inside you when your baby becomes ill.
But I’m not.
I am painfully, inexplicably so NOT accustom to my baby being sick, nor will I EVER be.
Nothing can compare to the sheer terror you experience the first time your baby becomes sick.
The sickening helpless feeling..
It is unmistakable.
It is as real as being a parent gets: that little thing that you love so much is sick and all you want to do is make them better.
We head to the doctor in a few hours and hopefully we will just hear that Gavin is experiencing a nasty little cold.
However, prayers for a speedy recovery and for my sanity to return quickly are greatly appreciated
My husband will argue that I never really had my sanity to begin with.
Either way, I’d like it back.
Because when my babies are sick.. I feel like a delirious, crazed lunatic on the prowl; in search of something.. anything to make my little guy feel better.
Here’s to parenthood.
There ain’t nothin’ like it.
With Lots of Love,
The Unexpected Mother